Social Media and Gender Issues - My Insecurities Come Back to Haunt Me
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After reading a post regarding Women having an easier time in Social Media yesterday I wasn’t ready for my past insecurities to come flooding back to me. After all, Wingnut’s post was just poking fun at an issue that is certainly not new in the virtual world. But, I think the reason it started to get to me more and more over the past 24 hours is because the gender issue hit a sensitive spot for me.
Before the World Wide Web became my place of business I worked full time in a very stressful, high paced business that was made up of more than 95% men. I earned my spot there, but getting there and staying there was not an easy one for me.
A bit of My Professional History
I started working for this business back in 1994…. I was just 23. I started as a temporary with the hopes to gain a permanent position after 30 days. After all, up to this point I got every job I had interviewed for. I am an over achiever and a perfectionist. Not always a great combination for me as I tend to be very hard on myself, but past employers seemed to have liked those traits.
The first month at this business went extremely well. I had a strong grasp of my responsibilities, got along well with my colleagues, and my immediate boss mentioned many times he was impressed with my work. But, what made me feel that the permanent position was "in the bag" for me was when the President of the Company pulled me in to his office to tell me that he was thrilled with my work and that I was ready to be on my own. “Yes, this job is mine!!”
6 Months later and I was still a Temporary employee. Talk about frustrating!! What the heck was I doing wrong? I couldn’t understand. After all, this Company was spending a fortune to keep me as a temporary. Why wouldn’t they just hire me full time? Well, it wasn’t long before I got my answer.
I was called in to the office of the Sales Manager, who was also one of the three owners of the Company. We started talking about my position at the Company and he mentioned that the outcome of the project he was now giving me would determine whether I got the Permanent position at the Company. It was then that he told me that up until this point that he was the "thing" that has held me back from the permanent position. Apparently, he had many conversations with the other two owners and he would not agree to hiring me permanently until I had proven myself. He didn’t think I could handle the job as I was a young attractive woman. These were his words… not mine.
WHAT?! I was devastated. After all, I couldn’t change this. I couldn’t take my knowledge and skills and fix this one. I am a woman….. a SMART woman.
I couldn’t fix the gender issue, but the one thing I could do was try even harder to impress him. I could prove to him that even a young lady could keep up with this high paced, stressful business. And, that’s exactly what I did.
11 Months from the month I started that job I finally got that permanent full time position and I stayed there 8 years.
I left that place of business in 2001 and started working out of my home as a Webmaster. Once I started my Webmaster business I rarely had interaction with others in the professional sense. I was my own boss and the absence of human interaction was a well needed change of pace.
Enter Social Media
As the Web World evolved my business as a Webmaster needed to evolve as well. I needed to add human interaction back into my Business. Enter Social Media.
I had no idea that when I started adding Social Media into my business activities that the same anxieties of working with others in my past professional life would come back and haunt me.
This is not directly about Wingnut’s post…. I actually enjoyed his post. The issue is my past insecurities of being a young female professional in a man’s world. I earned my spot then and I will keep trying to earn my spot in the Social Media world now as well.
Technorati Tags:social media, gender differences, web 2.0, insecurities, business, social networking
14 Responses to “Social Media and Gender Issues - My Insecurities Come Back to Haunt Me”
By SEO Honolulu on Nov 27, 2007 | Reply
Very good read, I enjoyed it alot. You bring up an excellent point about how gender segregation in the workplace existed in the 90’s, and still does today as well.
I became my own boss for different reasons for the most part, but we do have one very common thread; getting the hell away from crazy co-workers/management and calling the shots.
By Tad Chef on Nov 27, 2007 | Reply
I certainly did not favor you for being that attractive! I swear! On the other hand your face was easier to remember. Like Andy Beard’s for example, because he is bald!
By Brian Wallace on Nov 27, 2007 | Reply
Leave it to Tad to get the joke in
Seriously though, great post. It takes a lot of willpower to share personal experiences openly like this. Those of us that are just casually reading it can’t necessarily get a feel for another’s past anxieties.
I congratulate you for facing this head on in such a forum.
By Marty on Nov 27, 2007 | Reply
Nice job Shana. Everyone who is as talented as you are has SOMETHING in the closet or lurking outside the door. Recognize it as a sign of your depth.
By Nick James on Nov 27, 2007 | Reply
Nice one Shana. To be fair, I’d say you’ve already earned your spot in the world of social media, and then some. I’d say the ‘Shana Albert brand’ (apologies for such a crude descriptive turn of phrase) certainly sells on the social media network. Plus you’ve achieved in your business life a damn sight more than a lot could ever hope for (And there’s much more to come). That’s certainly the best way of giving the middle finger to those that held you back early on in your career. Great stuff!
(And here ends the party political broadcast on behalf of the ‘Shana Albert Party’)
By Mack on Nov 27, 2007 | Reply
Well my view of you really has nothing to do with gender. You became one of my favorite colleagues when I discovered you on sphinn some months back. I started to follow you around from network to network studying your habits of success.
It seems a little creepy, I know. Believe it or not though it has worked well for me. You have somewhat been my mentor into the world of social networks.
Boy, Girl, Martian, it doesn’t matter to me. Your a star!
By Mark Dykeman on Nov 27, 2007 | Reply
Excellent article, I appreciate your candor. You’re making your own way now, any insecurities should fade with time and experience.
By Shana Albert on Nov 27, 2007 | Reply
@SEO Honolulu - Thanks so much for stopping by…. It’s been a while
Yeah, I don’t think office politics (virtual or otherwise) is going to change anytime soon.
@Tad - You are so funny!! And, YOU with the large white sombrero…. also easy to remember. Plus, you are the only man I know that can pull off headwear like that!!
@Brian - I know, Tad freakin cracks me up. Thank you for saying what you did. It felt good to write this post and even better to read these warm comments from the viewers. Nothing better than support from others to help you get over your insecurities,right?
@Marty - Thanks, Marty.
@Nick - Thank you, Nick…. you are too kind.
@Mack - haha…. What a great comment. Thank you so much, my little stalker!!
@Mark - Thank you for your kind words. I believe I am making my own way now… time will tell if my insecurities fade over time.
By Sam Freedoms Internet Marketing Controversy Blog on Nov 28, 2007 | Reply
That was very touching. Now go fix me something to eat.
By Shana Albert on Nov 28, 2007 | Reply
@Sam Freedoms - Hahaha!! Thanks Sam, I really appreciate your thoughtful and very caring comment. Only YOU could write something like that in my comments and make me smile. But, to make a statement like that more believable you must ALWAYS add a “B*!ch” to the end of it.
By Michael Lodispoto on Nov 28, 2007 | Reply
Hi Shana,
It might not have been because you were a woman in that firs at job. Unless that one boss really was just a little discriminatory. When you have 3 bosses like that it is really difficult to get a read on how they really see you. Often you are ‘in’ with one or more, but not with one other.
I don’t see why you having any problems with social media. It is a liking game, if people like you, which they do, even someone like me who has never spoken to you directly, you are doing well. Try to hold down those anxious feelings.
As an indication of how well liked even by those that don’t you directly. when I was reading what Mack said bove, it reminds me of me shadowing you starting from Andy Beard’s Site.
“Well my view of you really has nothing to do with gender. You became one of my favorite colleagues when I discovered you on sphinn some months back. I started to follow you around from network to network studying your habits of success.”
So you see, you are a success in social media already and your anxiety in the new situation is un-warranted. If two totally unrelated people say the same thing, you know now you’re doing something right! Keep up the good work, keep it real and you will have a great future in the field. I have no doubts at all.
To the Future!
By Casie Gillette on Nov 28, 2007 | Reply
Interesting post Shana. I have definitely never had anything like that happen to me and I have no idea how I’d handle it. I’m mostly impressed you didn’t tell him where he could shove that job
strong willpower!
By KatFrench on Nov 28, 2007 | Reply
Hey, I completely relate. Social media is by it’s very nature, a personal media. You have to put yourself out there to a certain degree, and with that exposure comes, at best, some anxiety.
I had a similar pre-web career background (commercial construction–very male-dominated field). Not to mention in 16 years in the working world, I’ve seen my share of “gender issues.” Most of which didn’t work out in my favor.
The whole Kathy Sierra affair much earlier this year was my personal “have a nice long sit-down with myself” moment, when I really examined whether or not I wanted to become more visible online.
In the end, you owe it to yourself and the world to get out there and give your best, regardless of gender.
By Ro on Nov 28, 2007 | Reply
Go back 20 more years, and not only were you not getting the promotions, the term “sexual harassment” wasn’t even considered. When I was 23, not only was I not getting the promotions (for the same reasons), the boss was “jokingly” asking me to sit on his lap! The only place women did well was in sales - but not with the help of their male colleagues, who rarely hid their resentment. That’s not so long ago, but long enough that we should have learned by now.