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Values in Social Media - Guest Post on Search Engine People

My good friend Ruud Hein over at Search Engine People asked me earlier this month if I would like to write a guest post on the Search Engine People Blog. I was thrilled of course…. I am a huge fan of SEP. I have been a loyal reader of that blog since I met Jeff Quipp on Sphinn about 16 months ago.

The truth is I feel that the majority of the Search Engine People staff have got Social Media right. Social Media is all about conversations and collaborating with others online. But, these interactions need to be genuine… they need to be sincere. Jeff Quipp and the rest of the staff at Search Engine People understand that.

So, to me it made perfect sense for my Guest Post on Search Engine People to be about the values I follow when I participate in Social Media activities. These are the same values my mother taught me growing up and I believe have helped me to become successful in Social Media.

Go check out my guest post over at Search Engine People and let me know what you think. Oh, and don’t forget to subscribe to their RSS feed. Trust me…. you won’t be disappointed.

Posted in Blogging, Guest Posts, Parenting, Social Media, Social Media Marketing, Tips and Tutorials, Web 2.0, Web 2.0 Basics | 3 Comments »

A Recap of my 1st Wonderful Year using StumbleUpon

Monday, August 4th, 2008 |

Happy 1st Anniversary StumbleUpon

July marked my first anniversary being a member of the StumbleUpon Community. It has been an incredible year for me. I have met some wonderful, wonderful people. And, I have stumbled across and discovered some truly amazing websites. Sites that if it wasn’t for StumbleUpon I probably wouldn’t have come across them in the first place.

I spent this past weekend going through my stumbles over the past year. It was a lot of fun to see the sites and my reviews over the past year. There were tons and tons of Stumble-Reviews to go through…. After all, at the time of me writing this post I had stumbled 7,357 pages, 27 videos and 876 photos. It truly has been an amazing year.

I love StumbleUpon. I love it for so many reasons. Here you will find 113 things I have learned from using StumbleUpon

113 Things I have Learned from using StumbleUpon

Inspect all food before you purchase.

We could learn a lot if we listen to the wisdom of children.
That a Nintendo System can be completely homemade.
That Business Strategy Can Be About Love
Helped me Learn Sign Language
Learned to Identify where I was Sacrificing my Freedom
Multiplication Songs & Raps to help me teach my Children.
Mother Nature is AMAZING & Beautiful!!

That I can use my Local Newspapers to Promote my Blog Offline
That even the Busiest of People will Lend a Helping Hand to a Newbie
100 Painless Ways to Cut Calories
I can be a Positive Parent
You and I can Erase our Fears.
I can find awesome recipes using only what little ingredients I have at home.
How to Relieve a Bee Sting in under 30 Seconds.
I found out what Tarot Card I am. What Tarot Card are you??
Found Tips to Immediately Increase my Confidence.
There are certain things I need to remember when launching a new site.
That it only takes 90 minutes a day to become a better blogger.
There are special ways to draw StumbleUpon Users into your blog.
How to Run a StumbleUpon Advertising Campaign for my Blog.
How even Blogging can make a Difference in the World.
That a 5-year old can Deliver a Baby.
10 Things You Can Blog About On The Weekends
Creating a Sneeze Page can Propel Readers Deep Within my Blog
There is actually a time when Getting Lots Of Visitors To Your Website Isn’t Good.
There are at least 5 essential things you ought to know about StumbleUpon
PageRank can be explained with a Cool Graph.
Why Top 10 Lists are still the Best
Found out that there are 7 Easy ways to get more Weekend Traffic to my Website.
Tons of Fun Activities that Moms and Dads can do with their kids.
What it would look like if SEO’s mated.
Learned that I need a Seasonal Search Engine Optimization Strategy.
Found out that Social Media has a Direct Influence on Search Engine Ranking.
A Splash of Colo r can make me Smile

I learned that even I can open a Beer with a Lighter. Thanks for that Pat…. I love showing off to men in the Bar.
Saw what Google Search would look like if it was designed in Comic Sans.
Found Sphinn shortly after it was born…. another turning point in my professional life.
Avatar Optimization - Why Top Sphinners have photo avatars while top Diggers have graphic ones.
How I can deal with Criticism.
That there are unusual ways that I can use StumbleUpon.
I found that I love to learn SEO from Patrick with the Hitchiker’s Guide to Linkless SEO.
It sucks to be on top - the downside of Social Media.
I learned there are 10 Steps to Building an Online Media Empire
Muhammad showed me 4 reasons I should be blogging on weekend.
Found out how to get traffic & links from Popular Blogs…. thank you Maki.
Apparently, random funny pictures are good for my health.
Brian Wallace taught me taught me the Ode to StumbleUpon.
That I can become a Success in Online Networking.
5 StumbleUpon BuzzKills
That I can get help for Writer’s Block.
I even learned How to Read a Painting.
I found out that my good friend Brian Wallace thinks my StumbleUpon reviews are verbose. No worries, Brian…. I still love ya.
What I already thought was reinforced when I read that a Blogger can be successful by being nice.
I learned there is such a thing as Time Management when it comes to Social Media.
Learned to Optimize for Universal Search.
Kind of Morbid, but I found a web page that tells me how many people died the day I was born. Approximately 130,755 people died worldwide on my birthday.
The difference between SEO & SMO.
Pictures can help explain The Difference Between Marketing, PR, Advertising, and Personal Branding
I was reminded what makes for a successful Blog.
Logos can be freaken funny!!
Which Hook Attracts the Right Fish?….. in regards to Link Baiting.
Dosh Dosh has taught me so much about the Importance of Social Media Marketing.
I learned that blogging is a lot like Sex.
I had no idea until I can across this page that there are 23 types of Social Media Users.
I learned that People in the SEO & Marketing Industries are some of the Funniest People I know.
Kim of Cre8pc showed me how to build a better website by writing about her son’s challenges with his sport, football. Such a loving post…. absolutely unforgettable.
There are ways to build traffic that have nothing to do with Google or SEO.
A Web Page of Words that Feel Good. Thanks Michael.
Found that Others Felt the Same Way about Sphinn that I did.
Tips to writing my Best Post Ever.
Tons of Free SEO Tools
Found out there was such a thing as "Social Media Hangovers".
Darren showed me how my StumbleUpon Profile put me on his Radar.
Learned how to divide my time for maximum exposure.
Size does matter when it comes to blog posts.
Stumbled across the best explanation of what it feels like to live with a chronic illness (PDF file).
A simple workout for Bloggers.
Why some pages don’t get stumbled.
The Importance of StumbleUpon categories.
I learned Do’s and Don’ts when it comes to babies.

How to find out if I am a Social Media Addict.
I can now say, "I Love You" in 100 different languages.
10 Commandments of Social Media
Chris Brogan reminds me that I need to recognize when to scale back…. I don’t need to say "yes" to everybody.
I found out Why Guys like Girls.
I came across a Comprehensive Guide to Keyword Research for Bloggers
Finally I learned how to fold a fitted sheet correctly. Normally I use my arms to wound it up.
I learned how to Go with the Flow.
How to write a report that a client will "get".
I learned how to blog and work-off 600 calories at the same time.
That photos can say so much more than words. What do you think this photo is saying??

I learned that there is a difference between healthy and toxic love.
How to simplify my life with kids.
Even Digg can play some April Fool’s Jokes.
Found out ways to reduce stress.
Food can taste as good as it looks.
I located a bunch of great moms on Twitter thanks to Wendy.
I was shown a bunch of reasons why Twitter is a great Social Media Too l.
I was surprised to learn that it wasn’t only MY children who don’t recognize when the bathroom door is closed.
How to make a dollar stretch during a recession.
How to bury negative posts about you or your company.
Tamar with the help of Weezer shows me a thing or two about Viral Marketing.
More ways I came across to say, "I Love You".
StumbleUpon gets my mind thinking with a question that stumps me.

Little did I know that there was something called, "Blogger Imposter Syndrome". You can even take a test to see if you suffer from it.
How to Find the Perfect Image for your Blog Post.
I had no idea that cigarettes could teach me something about branding.
Kids can teach us how to be happy.
Learned that there are certain techniques that will make your blog or website sticky.
I stumbled across a thing or two about Link Building Optimization.
That I can actually SEO my site in less than 60 minutes.
And, apparently I will stumble into the happiness of my life.

Posted in Blogging, Humor, Link Love, Parenting, SEM, SEO, Social Bookmarking, Social Media, Social Media Marketing, Social Networking, Sphinn, StumbleUpon, Time Management, Tips and Tutorials, Web 2.0 Basics | 21 Comments »

Are teens today lacking in Interpersonal and Communicative Skills?

Friday, May 2nd, 2008 |

Image by BdwayDiva1

Are Texting & Social Media Platforms causing teens to lack in Interpersonal Communicative Skills?

I received a text from my oldest son last week that was very disturbing. He was obviously too freaked out to discuss the topic with me face-to-face and instead chose to tell me this uncomfortable piece of information via text messaging. I feel I’m a very "with it" mom when it comes to these things. Especially since being involved in Social Media is pretty much what I specialize in. But, after this particular text I was left wondering….

“Are teens today lacking in Interpersonal and Communicative Skills?”

Generations have been dealing with the change in Technology for Decades…

Rock-n-Roll
Television
Record Players
VCR’s
Telephones
Computer’s
Internet
eMail
Cell phones
Web 2.0
etc…

I’m sure it hasn’t been easy for any generation to make the transition and today’s generation is no exception. I use text myself, but I don’t use it to replace normal everyday conversation, but it appears that many of our teens do. Many of my friends and colleagues I spend time with online have children and I’m very curious of their thoughts on this…

Is Mobile Technology and Social Media taking away what our Children should be learning during face-to-face Communication?

When I was a teen growing up I was forced to discuss things with my parents face-to-face….. even the uncomfortable discussions. And, through each of these discussions, as difficult as they were, they each were a learning experience. Could Instant Messaging and Text be robbing our children from learning some social skills?

Teens are breaking up with boyfriends and girlfriends over text…. and this is completely normal. These uncomfortable discussions that all of us hated to have were all a learning experience for me. Mostly, I learned tact and empathy. Are our children growing up more selfish & cold because they can avoid these conversations entirely?

I was never an overly brave teen. I didn’t have as much confidence in myself as others and this made confrontation much more difficult for me. If I had social media platforms and mobile devices available to me back then I’m positive I would have been using them instead of how I had to deal with things.

Maybe I wouldn’t have succumb to peer pressure. Maybe I would have been braver in what I told my peers…. in saying, "No!!". Or, maybe I would have dealt with confrontation in ways that maybe teens are dealing with it now… "text and Instant Messaging".

This might not sound like a major issue, but after the text from my oldest son I’m not so sure about that.

I believe that many of the uncomfortable situations and confrontations I dealt with growing up taught me many things and made me into the person I am now. Who knows…. maybe I’m reading too much into this. But, I really don’t think so.

Teen Crushes

As I mentioned earlier I lacked a certain amount of confidence growing up, so certain things were especially difficult for me. For example, telling a boy I liked him. I remember having crushes growing up and the boy never knew. By the time I was in Junior High I was still extremely nervous to tell a boy I liked him, but I would try very hard to push through the fear. Making a point to talk to him, pausing by his locker, dropping something nearby to see if he would pick it up, and dialing the phone to call him. I say dialing the phone because unless one of my friends was calling for me I don’t think I ever stayed on the phone long enough to talk to the boy. Most of the time I would dial the phone number and once someone answered I would hand up. Thank Goodness this was before *69…. otherwise, I would have been busted for sure.

How would Texting & Social Media changed this process? Well, I wouldn’t have had to be brave and start a discussion… Simple texts are so much easier than real words. I would no long have to worry about blushing in front of a boy. He wouldn’t even have to know how nervous I was. There is no way via text he could hear my shaky voice, see my knees tap together from nerves or see me blush from fear. This fact would have given me the confidence to flirt via text.

What learning experience would I have missed out on? Over the years of pushing through my fear of talking to guys I built confidence. I learned what worked for me and what didn’t work for me. I realized that guys thought I was sweet when I blushed. Actually, over the years I wasn’t nervous to talk to most guys at all. My confidence increased enough that I could easily talk to a guy. Would teen develop this confidence if they were doing all interaction between themselves and guys via digital methods?

Breaking up with a guy

Okay, if telling a guy I liked him wasn’t bad enough….. breaking up with him was so much worse!! I hated making someone unhappy or feel bad about themselves. I am still horrible at that, but disappointment is a fact of life and dealing with it is part of it. Break ups can be some of the most difficult conversations to have, but to move to the next relationship… break-ups must be done.

Many of my friends were broken up with by notes in school. I was mortified by this and fortunate enough that this never happened to me. However, in High School I was in the middle of a long distance relationship, so all of our communication was via phone and "snail mail". We would see each other only on weekends.

How would a Break-up have been different if I had text or Social Media Platforms?

What makes a break-up so difficult is the confrontation. It’s usually not an easy conversation because many times the other person feels a bit under attack or defensive. Texting a break-up (which let me just state…. is cowardly and never okay in my book) erases any face-to-face contact. No confrontation. As a matter of fact you don’t have to answer any further calls or texts. This is an easy way out. There is something to be said about "closure", people!! How the heck do you get closure from a text or instant message? Unless, of course, the entire relationship was done via text or Instant Message then a break up should NOT be done in this fashion. I couldn’t imagine sending a text like….

"Have I told you just now how much I’m in love with U???
No??
Chew on it, have a nice life… "

Check out these other "Break-up Texts" . They are unreal!!

But, texts like the one above are being sent to innocent (or not so innocent) boys and girls everyday.

What I have learned from having to break up in a face-to-face way…

Break-ups hurt
Break-ups are an end to something that you might not be ready for
tact
empathy
sensitivity

Dealing with Friends and Social Life in High School

I know that Social Life in High School means a lot to teens. It meant a lot to me and still means a lot to kids. But, I also know that the peer pressure and saying, "No" can be a sticky situation. I would never want to go back and do high school over again due to the peer pressure I experienced. I dealt with the peer pressure the face-to-face way, but how are the kids dealing with it now-a-days?

Teens are using Social Media Platforms to deal with Peer Pressure.

They use text and instant messaging to say what’s on their minds. It not as confrontational. Sounds less threatening, right? Nope!! To get revenge these teens sometimes are using malicious ways to deal with their anger such as YouTube videos, MySpace & Facebook public messages, non-private instant messaging and other embarrassing ways. My thoughts are that because of the convenience of social media ways of dealing that these same platforms are giving teens a convenient & easy way to get revenge. This is making Peer Pressure tons worse than it was when I was growing up.

What I have learned from dealing with Peer pressure face-to-face?

knowing you have to deal with them face-to-face makes you be choosy who is your friend
Over time I realized what/who makes me happy
I don’t always have to say, "Yes" to everything
Could shut down the peer voices after school…. with text, Instant Messaging & other Social Media platforms this is much more difficult.

I’m wondering if the lack of closure causes a teen’s need for revenge? Could it be that communicating verbally face-to-face with someone forces closure? Maybe with text and instant message there is no "end".

Telling Parents Bad News

I would like to think that conversations with parents hasn’t changed much since I was growing up. But, even I know that’s not the case. I already admitted that my son text me a message that he should have talked to me about in person. Why did he do this? Because he felt it would be easier. Was it? Well, probably. Temporarily anyway. And, probably by the time he approached me in person I calmed down quite a bit. Did he learn as much from the whole experience…. I’m not so sure.

And, I have some fond memories of when I was growing up of conversations with my mother. I also have some memories of scary conversations with my mom. But, bottom line…. they were face-to-face conversations. They were banter back and forth that I believe made a difference in my life. Not only did I learn something from it, but I also bonded with my mom. And, there is one other thing that it left me with… something I can smile at later. Embarrassing situations that I can smile at because I survived. Something I can laugh at by myself or conversing with my sister.

I look back on those moments with my mom fondly…. now. However, had I had the opportunity to get out of a sticky situation in an easier fashion I totally would have.

Which brings to me back to the question, " Are teens today lacking interpersonal communicative skills?"

What do teens have a fear of??

Confrontation
Rejection
Disappointment
Failure
Embarrassment

What are they missing out learning??

tact
sensitivity
empathy
respect
anger management
communication skills

I asked the following question to my friends on Twitter, "What would have been different 4 you had you had text & IM as teen? How would Break-ups, dating, peer pressure been different?" This were some of the answer I received: Click on the image to see in full size & with Profile Links