Social Desire

TheNanny612 and the Three Avatars

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I wrote a post regarding my avatar change on Collective-Thoughts. This post is a continuation of that. The avatar I had chose at the end of that post didn’t work out. And since my 6 year old daughter helped me come up with my final choice for an avatar I decided to write this post in the form of a Child’s Story, "Goldilocks and the Three Bears".

 
Image by Super Dave Chen

TheNanny612 and the Three Avatars

TheNanny612 was a Young Lady who spent much of her days Social Networking. She had her own land in her part of the Web 2.0 World.

Normally this Social Media Lady would had been content to go about her usual Social Networking, but on this day she chose instead to cut off her long curly hair. Knowing that once she did this she would have to perform the duty of choosing the right avatar for her part of the Web 2.0 World named Social Desire.

It was on this day that TheNanny612 Avatar Journey began.

TheNanny612 didn’t think the duty of choosing an avatar would be a difficult one. After all, what is the big deal, really? An avatar simply is a picture to help members of Online Communities know who you are…. is that really such a big deal?

So, TheNanny612 simply had her picture taken a few times with a cell phone. She chose the best of the batch of pics, cropped it and sized it perfectly. She made each picture into different sizes to easily accommodate the different requirements at different Social Networking Communities. The smallest Avatar size is 50×50 for Sphinn and StumbleUpon uses a 475×475 on its About page.

TheNanny612 Avatar #1

475 x 475	50 X 50

She really liked this picture, but it was so dark. She didn’t realize how dark until she had it resized to fit Sphinn’s 50×50 Avatar requirement. The size Avatar for Sphinn is so small & so dark that it is terribly difficult to recognize who the picture is of….. That will never do.

TheNanny612 sighed as she really thought this was going to be simple. "Oh well.", she said as she moved on to the next stop.

She took a look at the first picture to see what the problem was and came up with a few of things.

1. To dark.
2. Little Contrast. TheNanny612’s dark hair against the dark chair. There was absolutely no contrast.
3. The picture was taken with a Cell phone. The quality of cell phone pictures aren’t always good enough to work with.

So, TheNanny612 decided that she needed to do things differently. She decided to do everything completely opposite from what she did last time.

She dressed in a white blouse and sat on a light rug in front of a cherry stained door. This is how the picture looked in its largest and smallest forms:

TheNanny612 Avatar #2

475 x 475	50 X 50

TheNanny612 was initially happy with this photograph. She likes the black and white look and the contrast is nice. But, notice how the picture changes when it is made smaller. The change in size makes it difficult to recognize that its TheNanny612 at all. She began to think that there will be no 50×50 avatar that will be easy to recognize, but she knew that wasn’t true. After all, her last 50×50 avatar was easy to recognize.

So, TheNanny612 went back on her search for the Perfect Avatar…. the Avatar that was "Just Right."

The problems with the 2nd Avatar?? There were a few…

1. It’s a lovely shot large, but when made smaller it is difficult to recognize.
2. The picture is simply to light. The black and white look washes TheNanny612 out. She will not stand out compared to others which is very important in Social Networking.
3. The contrast problem in the 1st photograph caused TheNanny612 to dress in light colors, but this did nothing for the photograph either.

TheNanny612 was truly frustrated. She asked out loud, "Why is this so hard?" All of a sudden it came to her…. she needed to figure out what made her original Avatar Memorable.

What made the Original TheNanny612 Avatar Memorable

1. An Unusual Head shot
2. Sepia - I didn’t use Black & White….. Sepia added a bit of color.
3. Side Angle
4. Not the entire head
5. Nothing much else in the background.

More determined than ever TheNanny612 decided to stick with what seemed to work with her original avatar. The most important thing to her was that the avatar needed to look just as good small as it did large. And, up until this point that had been TheNanny612’s struggle. She needed to stop posing so much & get back to basics…. get back to what worked for her in the past.

TheNanny612 decided to hand the camera to her 6 year old daughter and allow her daughter to snap a few random shots. Little did she know the perfect avatar would be taken by the young child.

TheNanny612 went through all the photographs taken by her daughter that day. She came across one that she felt would be a perfect fit if cropped just right. This is what she came up with:

TheNanny612 Avatar #3

475 x 475	50 X 50

The first first Avatar was too dark, The 2nd Avatar was too light, and the 3rd Avatar was just right!!

With each Avatar mistake TheNanny612 learned something and the final Avatar was the nicest in all the Land.

The Moral of this story…

Sometimes things don’t go well the first time around or even the 2nd. But, as long as you make each a learning experience then the outcome is usually good one.

The End.

Posted in Humor, Social Bookmarking, Social Media, Social Media Marketing, Social Networking, Sphinn, StumbleUpon, Tips and Tutorials, Uncategorized, Web 2.0, Web 2.0 Basics | 9 Comments »

The ABCs of Social Media

Social Desire will be featuring Guest Posts for the next few weeks. Today’s Featured Guest Post is by Mark Dykeman.

Image by Steve & Jemma Copley

Everyone’s got a Top Ten list, an 8 step guide, or some other how-to post to succeeding in social media.

This isn’t one of those posts. Not exactly. Not really.

OK, maybe a little bit.

What I’ve done is to take each letter of the alphabet and try to find one or two words that can be used to describe social media. I’ve tried to cover many of the important points and aspects of social media that I’ve picked up through my own activities. I hope you enjoy and find it useful.

The A – Z listing for social media

Ask/Acquire – social media is a place where we can ask questions and acquire knowledge; there are tons of great resources out there.

Bold – push yourself and test your limits. Try things that might have scared you in the past, either due to lack of confidence or experience. Be bold!

Communicate – it’s all about the conversations.

Demonstrate – show people what you know; help educate them. (note: I was very tempted to use the word "desire" here… )

Evaluate – absorb everything you can, but keep a critical eye open. As you meet different people you’ll gradually get a sense of who knows their stuff and who doesn’t. Don’t accept advice blindly – think it over and make up your own mind.

Friend – "friend" has become a verb in social media, where you give or are given permission to share stuff with other people. It’s a key component of social media, hence the word "social".

Give – contribute to the body of knowledge with your own thoughts, ideas, tips, tricks, critiques, and others. It’s not valuable if you keep it to yourself.

Help – as per give, take the time to do favors for other people. Answer their questions; show examples. You get a lot back from this, even if it doesn’t happen immediately.

Ideas – social media contains some of the coolest parts of higher education – the discussion and refinement of ideas.

Join – if you’re going to be social, join groups that interest you. It’s all about relationships.

Knowledge/Learn – this K and L go together like peanut butter and jelly; learn stuff, increase your knowledge.

Mentor – help a beginner and you could have a good friend for life.

Name – names are important, doubly so in social media. Meet people, remember their names. They’ll do the same for you!

Open – be as transparent as you can. Consider different points of view, as well. Speak respectfully, but freely.

Passion – that burning sensation isn’t an, um, infection, it’s the power of love and desire when you discover something that you love to do.

Question – questions drive social media. Why? Because we all want to find answers!

Reveal – tell the world about yourself to the extent that you feel comfortable to do so. People want to know something about their follow social mediaites!

Share – as with giving, sharing means doing things that don’t just benefit yourself, they benefit other people as well. Give credit where credit is due and share the rewards!

Teach – again, show people what you know and we all benefit.

Understand – this is critical, because language is an imperfect means of communication. It can be very easy to misinterpret someone else’s writing, especially if it hits an emotional hot button. Make sure your reactions are tempered by understanding so that you know what was really meant within a communication.

Vigor – show some life there, sparky!

World – it’s a big world out there and social media will expose you to places that you never knew existed.

X-Ray – look inside and see what’s really happening. Don’t be fooled by exteriors or pretenses. Get the real story.

Yearn – satisfy those self- actual cravings, at least temporarily, through social media participation. But stay hungry – there’s always more.

Zen – practice, be mindful, and learn constantly as a path to enlightenment (of sorts). You might not become a spiritual master, but these principles can still lead to fulfillment in social media.

Social media from A – Z – there it is. I hope you were paying attention because there’s a test coming up!

(Of course, the test never ends… )

If you enjoyed this post check out more of Mark Dykeman’s work at Broadcasting Brain, his blog about communication and social media.

Posted in Blogging, Guest Posts, Humor, Social Bookmarking, Social Media, Social Media Marketing, Social Networking, Tips and Tutorials, Uncategorized, Web 2.0, Web 2.0 Basics | 5 Comments »

Offline Reality Online

Social Desire will be featuring Guest Posts for the next few weeks. Today’s Featured Guest Post is by Peter Newsome of SiteMost.

Image by Lady-bug

Offline Reality Online

When I catch-up with friends we’ll usually talk about the highlights of our week, we’ll have a whinge about the things that got under our skin and we will vocalise our opinions some of the current events that we feel strongly about.

Take away the face-to-face interaction, convert the speech to text (although not in every case thanks to how easy it is to create and share audio and video content) and you have a blog.

When I get home from work, I’ll look through the cupboards and fridge and work-out what I’m going to make for dinner. Once I’ve made a decision, I’ll usually vocalise this to myself - “Tonight I’m going to make spaghetti bolognese!” (yes, I know that talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity and a lot of my friends already think I am a little insane).

I’ll also continue talking to myself as I prepare the meal “a little bit of oregano, a dash of wine…” and as the TV is usually on in the other room, I’ll often make comments about the day’s stories “Interest rates are up again, there’s still conflict in the Middle East and Britney Spears did what?!?”

The above examples of small conversations that we have with ourselves everyday could easily be seen by having a quick skim through Twitter logs.

When you’re at school, the more friends you have, the ‘cooler’ you are – aka MySpace, Facebook etc. etc.

Take away the cheesy voice-over and Benny Hill music from ‘Funniest Home Videos’ and I’ve just described at least a third of YouTube’s content.

My mother sticks little yellow Post-It notes on the side of her computer monitor listing websites she’s found and wants to remember how to get back to them – if she understood what I was talking about when I tried to teach her about del.icio.us

For your daily dose of tabloid news in an online format you don’t need to look much further than Digg. And just like you’ll need Amy Winehouse throwing-up on your shoes if you want your pic in the tabloids, you’ll also need some Social Media Celebrity Endorsement if you want your articles to appear on the front-page of Digg.

So as you can see, most online social media has been inspired by something offline (even if the inspiration was far from the examples above, you still get the general idea). The only problem is that there is still a very big disconnect between the real and the virtual worlds.

It’s like comparing reality TV with actual reality. I don’t know who’s reality it is, but I can’t recall the last time someone locked me in a house with a bunch of strangers and recorded my every move whilst making me perform challenges like eating worms or pouring spiders on my head, or watched me painfully sing karaoke, or become a model, or survive on a desert island or made me lose half my body weight etc. etc.

Sure, it might be entertaining, but it certainly isn’t what happens to you and I on a daily basis.

I’ve met bloggers that write well, seem quite entertaining and have hundreds of subscribers but in person they are very shy and introverted or waaaay over the top and are incredibly annoying to have a conversation with.

Whereas other bloggers that only have a handful of regular readers have been charming, interesting and insightful when I’ve met them face-to-face.

There was a guy I went to school with who still lives with his parents, works for the local government in an accounting role, hasn’t changed one little bit from the weedy, nerdy, annoying guy from senior school… but his Facebook page says he has 300+ friends.

Now I’m not trying to say that one’s online persona is inversely proportional to how popular they are offline… there are some really great people that I’ve met who are very popular both online and offline.

Although I think that we should observe how the online world has taken most of its inspiration from the real world and as it continues to do this, there will become a requirement for social media mavens to genuinely be as interesting and insightful in reality as they are online. Otherwise they may find that the virtual reputation they’ve worked so hard to build won’t hold-up as the two worlds (offline and online) become one.

If you enjoyed this Guest Post you can check out more of Peter’s work at SiteMost. And, while you are at it subscribe to the SiteMost Feed.

Posted in Blogging, Guest Posts, Social Bookmarking, Social Media, Social Networking, Twitter, Web 2.0 | 1 Comment »

Do you want to be my Facebook Friend?? Stop Threatening Me!!

I have been a little disappointed in Facebook lately. Well, maybe not Facebook directly, but instead some of the people that I have agreed to Facebook Friendships. And, due to the tactics these people are using on Facebook to pass the word about things they feel strongly about has caused me to not spend as much time on FaceBook in general.

In case you aren’t aware…. it was only a few months back that I was singing my praises about Facebook. I spent a lot of time there. I was able to do my social networking in ways that I couldn’t do in other Social Media arenas. I love Social Networking in all different ways, but what is so cool about Facebook is some of the very cool Applications that Facebook has. Some of these applications helped me interact with fellow marketers and bloggers that I didn’t know too well before facebook, but due to the fun networking via these applications caused me to take a closer look at their websites and blogs. But, recently something has started to happen that has not happened to me in this last year of using Facebook until recently…. "Chain Messages."

I’m not sure if Chain Messages is what this "thing" is actually called. But, this is what I’m going to call it. Chain Messages reminds me of a chain mail, but is is done through Facebook Applications. These Chain Messages are rude, forceful and threatening and I’m more than a little bit irritated that they have entered my Facebook space.

Here is an example of a message I received earlier today that has me so upset. I have removed a couple things from this screen shot. I removed the name of the person who sent me this FunWall post. I have also removed the name of my Facebook Friends from the "forward to:" section.

Now, this isn’t the first Chain Message I received, but this one really has me bothered. I’ll get into the reasons why this particular Chain Message has me irked, but in the meantime let me list what makes a Chain Letter a Chain Letter, so we can compare the Old Fashioned Chain Letter to this Chain Letter 2.0.

Wikipedia tells me that a Chain Letter is…

"A typical chain letter consists of a message that attempts to induce the recipient to make a number of copies of the letter and then pass them on to as many recipients as possible… Common methods used in chain letters include emotionally manipulative stories, get-rich-quick pyramid schemes, and the exploitation of superstition to threaten the recipient with bad luck or even physical violence or death if he or she "breaks the chain" and refuses to adhere to the conditions set out in the letter."

Wow, that definition sounds very much like the FunWall Post I received above. Let’s check out another. The following is from FraudBureau.com. Here they explain the Anatomy of a Chain Letter.

"Every chain letter is comprised of three components:

* The hook. The letter will try to grab your attention so that you will read the rest of it. Some common themes are "Get Rich Quick", to appeal to our desire to make money or "Virus Alert" to hook us by arousing our fears.

* The threat. Once you are hooked, the letter arouses your fears by telling you about the terrible things that will happen if you do not continue to keep the chain in tact. The threat is usually realistic enough to get you to continue the chain.

* The request. The request is usually the demand to distribute the letter to as many individuals as possible. "

Ahhh, so there are three components to every chain Letter. Very interesting. Well, Let’s see if there are three components to this Facebook Chain Message…

The Hook - "Someone will either call you or talk to you and tell you that they love you." Not a get rich scheme, but definitely something that many people are desperately looking for.

The Threat - "I better not see anyone breaking this one or see deleted." Well, I know this is not a specific threat, but it is an empty threat at least. It is playing on the fear of many people with social networking…. not having other’s support.

The Request - "These are ribbons for Soldiers fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. Pass it on to everyone and Pray." Definitely works on the emotions of many.

Hmmmm…. very interesting. Seems like this FunWall Post has all the makings of a Chain Letter to me. Dress it up whatever way you want to, but it is what it is… a chain letter.

What has me so upset about this particular Chain Message is the fact that it plays on the emotions of many people. We all know and love someone who is helping fight wars in Iraq and/or Afghanistan. And, this message is using our emotions to get us to do what they want us to do.

You know what really gets me is that I might have helped passing around the support ribbons to my Facebook friends had I not felt threatened. But, after reading the entire FunWall post I didn’t want any part of it. I wonder how many others who received this same FunWall post felt the same way I did and didn’t forward the message to their Facebook friends as well.

And, that brings us to another topic which I won’t delve to far into at this time….. friends made online. Should they have the same qualities of real life friends? OF COURSE!!! The social skills and etiquette that your mother and father taught you should still apply online. No parent in their right mind would teach their children the skills of threatening their friends. So, if you wouldn’t treat your friends in the real world with threats then don’t do it online.

You want to be my friend online?? Stop threatening me!!

Posted in Blogging, Facebook, Social Bookmarking, Social Media, Social Networking, Web 2.0 | 15 Comments »

StumbleUpon Changes - Are you a List or Grid?

In the past few days I’ve noticed a few changes on StumbleUpon. They aren’t huge changes, but changes none-the-less. These changes appear on your own StumbleUpon page. What is cool about these changes is that you have a choice. You can choose to keep things the same as they have been or change the way your Favorites page looks. And, deciding between keeping things like they once were or changing it to the new display depends whether you are more visual or not.

If you take a look on your Favorite Page on StumbleUpon and you have it set to the standard view it should look something like this:

Now, take a look at the right section of this page. You will notice a section that looks like this:

If you click on the link that says, "Show thumbnails" your Favorite page on StumbleUpon will now look something like this:

Pretty cool, huh?! But, it can be changed even more still. Visually, I like the way the above thumbnails looks on my favorites page. But, maybe for you this way is too wordy and you would like to see more Thumbnails. Not a problem. You will notice that there is a section that says, "Display: List Grid". It should look something like the following image:

Right now your StumbleUpon Favorite page is probably on the default display, List. Click on Grid to see the display change to list your favorites as a grid using Thumbnails. It will look something like this:

For example, when I stumbled the post, "Treating Your Blog as a Business: 8 Aspects to Consider" it lists the screen shot of the entire web page and It’s easier for me to look at the thumbnail and know it is a DailyBlogTips post. It probably has a screen shot of the entire web page because there is no other image on that post. However, when I stumbled Brent Csutoras‘ post, "Digg’s April Fools… The Joke is on You!" the thumbnail on my StumbleUpon favorites page is the image of Brent’s "digg-fools-buttons photo". This could make just the thumbnails display on my favorites page more difficult for me in the days to come to figure out what I stumbled without having the description there too.

I DIG that I have choices on how I would like to see my StumbleUpon Favorites. I love the way my Favorites look on one page. Visually, it looks awesome!! But, I’m not sure if this is the best way for me to keep my StumbleUpon favorites page. Again, it looks great!! But, it is hard for me to figure out what website it is by the Thumbnails. Some Thumbnails are easier to figure it out than others. Some of the Thumbnails are screen shots of the web page… making it easier for me to figure out what favorite it is. However, some of the thumbnails are images from the web page itself. Even though this too is cool it isn’t very easy for me to always figure out which StumbleUpon favorite I stumbled.

Bottom line…. I love that I have choices. Which display do I enjoy the most? The answer is, "I’m not sure, yet". For right now I’m toggling back and forth between different displays until I figure it out. So far, it appears that I’m leaning towards to the traditional basic original version of no thumbnails. But, that is probably because I’m not really good with sudden change and I need to work myself into it a bit. I’m usually a very visual person, so I’m guessing that eventually when I get more use to it I will be using the Display page with the Thumbnails in the List form.

What about you? What StumbleUpon Favorites Display are you using?

Posted in Social Bookmarking, Social Media, Social Networking, StumbleUpon, Tips and Tutorials, Web 2.0 Basics | 18 Comments »

The People Pleaser 2.0

The People Pleaser 2.0

We have all come across a People Pleaser at one point or another. People Pleasers love making people happy. They seem to become happier themselves by making others happy. They are super nice…. almost too nice, some might say.

If you have ever have been a People Pleaser yourself your life isn’t as happy as it might appear to others. You appear happy on the outside, but on the inside you are extremely unhappy. In order to not feel the pain you are feeling inside you go above and beyond making others happy and ignoring the pain you are having inside. The People Pleaser is usually over worked and under appreciated. The People Pleaser will rarely speak up if they are feeling unappreciated. As a matter of fact, they will continue helping others and saying "yes" to things they shouldn’t just to make others happy. What you might not be aware of is that the People Pleaser is probably very bitter on the inside. They want to say "No" (and they should say "No"), but they want so badly to be accepted and liked that they rarely, if ever, say "No". Usually to the detriment of her/himself.

Being a People Pleaser in the real World is extremely difficult. But, what do you think it is like to be a People Pleaser in the virtual World… where online community is so prevalent? For the rest of this post I’m going to call the People Pleasers on the internet People Pleasers 2.0.

The Pattern below is associated with the People Pleaser, by Jay Earley, PhD

• I try to be who someone wants me to be.
• I am afraid to rock the boat.
• It is hard for me to know what I want.
• I avoid speaking my mind.
• I find it easier to go along with what someone wants or with their opinion.
• I fantasize about a strong person taking over my life and making it work.
• It is hard for me to express my feelings when they are different from someone I’m close to.
• It is difficult for me to say No.
• I avoid getting angry.
• It is hard for me to take initiative.
• I try to be nice rather than expressing how I really feel.
• I want everyone to get along.
  

What happens when these people are involved with Social Media? What is it like for the People Pleaser 2.0?

Anyone who has spent anytime reading this blog knows that I am extremely involved in Social Media. But, what you might not know about me already is that 10+ years ago I had some major People Pleaser issues. I did all I could to make everyone around me happy only to find that I was extremely unhappy and unfulfilled. Over the years, and much therapy later… I have greatly improved. But, I do have to admit that with the addition of Social Media activities in my daily life that at some points over the past few months I have felt those past issues and insecurities creep back a bit. I can sense when these feelings kick in and for the most part can overcome the feelings associated with the people pleaser. But, If I am feeling this way I wonder if there are others feeling this way as well. Others who might not realize that there are tactics to overcome these feelings.

Below, I have put together what I believe are the symptoms of being a People Pleaser 2.0. These are not medical symptoms, but these are what I believe, through my own experience, what being a People Pleaser in Web 2.0 would be like.

People Pleaser 2.0 Symptoms:

• Voting up on all requests from Friends, but you never ask for the favor to be returned.
• Going through Friend’s submits on Social News Voting sites and voting all up without even reading the posts first.
• Before naturally voting something up looking to see who else voted it up first. Not having enough faith in your own opinions to vote anything up before noticing if others agree too.
• These people never want to rock the boat in the social communities. So, they tend to keep all of their opinions to themselves until they begin to hear other opinions. They tend to side with other people’s opinions.
• People Pleasers tend to be frightened every time they publish a post. They are afraid of other people’s thoughts on their posts because a People Pleaser bases their feelings on how others feel.
• Comments on their blog is enough to make or break them. They feel elated and happy when their posts receive good comments, but these people are coming undone on the inside with each of the negative comments.

Learning how to say "No" to others and trusting your own opinions enough to state them is so important to being happy. I am learning that myself.

Social Media is wonderful!! I love it, but I also know that with dealing with people brings the pressures of making some happy and disappointing others. It’s impossible to make everyone happy and if you are worried about making everyone happy, who is making you happy?

More on overcoming being a People Pleaser and feeling confident enough to say, "No".

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser - wikiHow gives you steps and tips on how to stop being a people pleaser.

The People Pleaser Pattern - Jay Earley, PhD highlights the People Pleaser Pattern, sometimes known as compliance.

"People Pleasers" Pay a High Price - Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D writes why people pleasers pay a high price.

3 Reasons To Stop Being A People Pleaser - Journal-a-Day gives the readers 3 reasons that you being a People Pleaser must end!!

Being Nice Can Be Hazardous to Your Health - Can being a People Pleaser actually be making you sick? Yes, it can.

How To Stand Up For Yourself - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen shows you How to Practice Being Assertive.

How to Know the Right Thing to Do - srichinmoybio.co.uk shows you how to do the right thing for you (not for others).

5 Ways to Develop Independent Thought - Tom O’Leary at PickTheBrain writes a post on how to think independently.

How to Say No

8 Essential Strategies to Saying “No” - Leo Babauta offers a few practical strategies For those who have trouble saying “no".

The Gentle Art of Saying No - Here are the Top 10 tips LifeHack.org writes about for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No.

How to Say No and Stay Friends - Marco Adragna shows you how you can say no to a friend without losing the friendship.

4 Quick, Easy Ways to Say No to People Who Take You for Granted - Jake Sim offers these 4 great ways to stand up for yourself and say No.

How to say NO and have people respect you for it - Say No and get the genuine and lasting result you need to put in authentic effort and respect.

The Art of No - Powazek explains the art of saying, "No" for a Graphic Designer’s perspective.

4 Tips for Saying No: Take Control of Your Time - Here are some tips that can help to bring some clarity and lighten up your mental ‘load’ when you want to say no. ThinkSimpleNow.com

How to say "no" without feeling badly - Dawna Sinclair shares with us how she got over feeling badly when she had to say "No".

Stop being a People Pleaser - passou pela mente offers some steps on how to stop being a people pleaser.

7 steps to start saying ‘No’ - The Birmingham News offers a very precise 7 step process to saying "No".

How to Say No Respectfully - wikiHow gives you steps and tips to saying "No" respectfully.

Say No But Say It With Finesse - Can you say no to your boss, neighbor, child, friend or coworker? If not you are not alone. Vannie Ryanes shows you how to say, "No" with style.

Saying No at Work

The time I learned to say “No” at work - ChiefHappinessOfficer shows you that if you can’t say "No" at work then your "Yes" is meaningless.

How to say no to extra work without feeling guilty - Mitch McCrimmon posts some practical tips for saying no on the job.

Getting to No - Hannah Clark writes this excellent post on learning to say no you need to start by identifying why you always say yes.

How to say ‘no’ to overtime - MothersWhoWork writes this terrific post directed towards mothers. She points out ways to say "No" to overtime.

When to Say No to Work - Geoff Williams shows you how to turn down projects.

Say no to free work! - CreativeBits explains that even if someone is a friend…. say "No" for working for free.

Saying NO to Good Opportunities! - Kimberly Stevens writes how you need to learn to say "no" to good opportunities, so you could say "yes" to the great ones.

Saying No in Business - Clients / Customers

Freelance Writers: How to Say No to Clients - The People’s Media Company shows you how to now allow yourself to become overwhelmed by clients or projects.

Increasing Your Marketing Agency’s Revenues by Saying "No" to Clients - Andy Beal shows you why saying “no” to a client is often good for business.

How to Say "No" to a Customer or Client - Kori Rodley Irons offers some little tidbits on saying "No to customers or clients.

When Is It OK To Say No to a Customer? - Silvana Buljan offers suggestions as to how to know when it is OK to say No to a customer.

How to Say No to Clients You Want to Keep - Finding creative ways to saying "No" to a client means that you can say "No" and keep the client as well.

Technorati Tags:web 2.0, social media, social networking, social bookmarking, self improvement, saying no, people pleaser

Posted in Blogging, Social Bookmarking, Social Media, Social Media Marketing, Social Networking, Web 2.0, Web 2.0 Basics | 18 Comments »

5 Reasons my StumbleUpon Profile Stands Out

This past Friday Darren Rowse of ProBlogger wrote a post, Using StumbleUpon to Get on the Radar of Other Bloggers . In this post Darren wrote how he had taken notice of me and my work due to my stumbling his posts a few times. He mentioned in this post that he recognized me as a person who had stumbled his work more than once and he landed up taking a closer look at my StumbleUpon profile where he noticed my many sites and even subscribed to this Blog’s feed.

Darren Rowse mentioning me on his blog has got to be a definite high point in my Blogging career so far. However, after taking 24 hours to sit back and just think about how wonderful it was to be mentioned by Darren on ProBlogger….. something occurred to me. What if my StumbleUpon profile was different? What if I hadn’t taken the time to add clickable links on my Profile? If I hadn’t taken the time to make my StumbleUpon profile stand out would this amazing high point in my Blogging career have past me by??!! Jeeze, the thought makes me shudder.

So, I wanted to take a moment and post a few things that I did with my StumbleUpon profile that might have made a difference between Darren taken notice of my work or not.

Why my StumbleUpon Profile Might Have Stood Out to Darren

• Avatar - I chose the same Avatar that I use on all my other Social Networking Sites. This way people would recognize me from one Social Networking Site to the next. I used an image of myself, but many people use other things such as their company’s logo, cartoon characters or any other graphic that makes them stand out. For me, it was just a basic picture of myself.
  
  
• Profile Name - Again, just like with the avatar, I chose the same profile name for my StumbleUpon profile as I use on all of my other Social Networking Sites…. TheNanny612. However, I have to say, TheNanny612 is not a very good Profile Name at all. It has nothing to do with what I do for a living….. It is actually more of an Inside Family Joke that no one would understand unless I explained it to them. But, now that people already recognize me as TheNanny612 it wouldn’t be very prudent for me to change it now. However, this might have worked in my favor as well… I haven’t run into another Profile Name that is even similar. So, it probably does stand out quite well.
  
  
• Profile Details - Choose a well thought out description of yourself. It shouldn’t be very long as readers probably won’t stick around very long. Get right to the point. Write your details well, spell correctly and be descriptive.
  
  
• Clickable Links - Make sure that any website links that you would like to mention on your Profile Details are clickable. Your StumbleUpon profile is a great place to promote your sites. When people of the SU Community arrive to your profile page and want to learn more about you the chances of these readers checking out your website are so much greater if your links are clickable. I’m not sure if Darren of ProBlogger would have copied and pasted my link into a browser had I not made my links clickable. So, this is very, very important.
  
  This is what my StumbleUpon profile page would have looked like had I not made the links clickable:
  
  
  This is what my StumbleUpon profile page appears like now with all the links:
  
  
  It’s really simple to make a link on your StumbleUpon profile clickable. Let’s say you have a site called My Site and it was located at www.MySite.com. This is how you would make that link clickable on your SU profile.
  
  Go to your StumbleUpon’s profile page and Click on the Link that says, "Preferences". Once this page opens up click on the link that says, "Public Profile". This is where you are going to edit your Public Profile. You will see a box below where it says, "Introduce yourself to Everyone".In this box is where you are going to enter your Profile details.
  
  In the spot of your details that you want to be a clickable link you use the following code (changing mysite to your site’s info): <a href="http://www.mysite.com/">my site</a>. (Don’t be alarmed, the StumbleUpon system will automatically add a "No Follow" to the coding.)
  
  Click Save Profile and when others take a look at your profile the phrase "my site" should look like: my site.
  
  There is an area on the edit Public Profile page that you can enter your website…. it will look like this:
  
  
  However, oddly enough, your website’s link does not appear on the first page of your StumbleUpon Profile. Your viewers will have to click on the tab that says "About Her/Him". And, then they will come to a page that they will see the link of your website.
  
  
  This is an extra click that the viewers of StumbleUpon have to make to find your website’s link. This is another reason why I decided to make clickable links on my SU profile page.
  
  
• Multiple Website Links - When I first opened my StumbleUpon account 6 months ago I had 8 Websites that I wanted to list on my StumbleUpon profile page, but not only did it look funny… it looked almost Spammy as well. I had a discussion with Todd Mintz of SEMPortland who suggested that I purchase my name, Shana Albert, as a domain for other reasons than StumbleUpon. His suggestion was a good one for so many reasons. And, having the domain ShanaAlbert.com worked out on my StumbleUpon profile as well. The ShanaAlbert website is a simple static web page with all of my websites and blogs listed on that page. With a simple click on the link on my SU profile page a reader will be sent to my website that has images and links to all of my sites. This way my StumbleUpon profile will not be inundated with outgoing links. I don’t want a reader to feel overwhelmed when they are reading about me….. I just want them to get a sense of what I’m passionate about. And, I believe that Darren got all of that from a simple look at my StumbleUpon profile.

Technorati Tags:stumbleupon, social media, social media marketing, smm, tips, tutorials, social bookmarking, social networking, blogging, problogger

Posted in Blogging, Social Bookmarking, Social Media, Social Media Marketing, Social Networking, StumbleUpon, Tips and Tutorials, Web 2.0 Basics, Websites | 27 Comments »

51 Favorite SU, Sphinn, Twitter & Facebook Posts of 2007

2007 will be ending in the next few days and 2008 will be beginning. It has been an amazing year for me. It was In 2007 I became very involved in Social Media Activity. I am looking forward to 2008 and everything that it has to offer, but before I can simply say Hello to 2008 and Goodbye to 2007 I wanted to list my favorite posts from all of my favorite Social Networking sites…. StumbleUpon, Sphinn, Twitter, and Facebook. *Keep in mind that these posts are my favorites and nothing official.*

Favorite StumbleUpon Posts of 2007

StumbleRank - Ranks the Top StumbleUpon Users.

A Comprehensive Guide to StumbleUpon: How to Build Massive Traffic to Your Website - Maki of DoshDosh wrote this mini guide on StumbleUpon because he thought StumbleUpon has enormous potential in maximizing brand exposure while fitting nicely with a long term site building strategy.

How to Use StumbleUpon for Your Business: The Definitive Guide - Tamar writes this great post for 10e20.com.

The Why, How and Who of Marketing in StumbleUpon - Garrett French writes this very in depth post regarding StumbeUpon and using it for Marketing purposes.

Building Your Blog With StumbleUpon - A ProBlogger Guest post by Skellie showing how to use StumbleUpon to increase your Blog Traffic.

Stumbleupon mathematics for stumblers - Tim Nash gives us his thoughts on how he believes the StumbleUpon algorithm works.

How to Use StumbleUpon to Promote - David Risley of WebbyOnline explains in detail how to Use StumbleUpon.

StumbleUpon Will Love Us Even When Google Doesn’t - Brian Wallace writes about the effectiveness of StumbleUpon.

5 Tactics For Driving Traffic From StumbleUpon - Cameron Olthuis writes for Search Engine Land showing you how StumbleUpon is a great way to bring large amounts of traffic to your site…. at times even bringing more traffic than digg.

How to Set Up a Domino Effect of Traffic - Vandelay Design writes how he greatly increased his traffic by setting up a Domino Effect with StumbleUpon.

25 Reasons You Get Thumbs Up - Andy Beard comes up with a list of 25 reasons why you might get a Thumbs Up on StumbleUpon.

Analysis: StumbleUpon’s Top 50 Stumblers - Glen Allsopp felt there wasn’t a lot of information on StumbleUpon on how to become a Top Stumbler. Glen researched and posted his findings.

6 Reasons to Love StumbleUpon - Marty tells us the 6 reasons he loves StumbleUpon.

Writing for StumbleUpon: High Impact Content “Above the Scroll” in Four Easy Steps - Muhammad Saleem points out that with StumbleUpon having your important content above the scroll is extremely important.

How Important is StumbleUpon? - Rose Sylvia shows us how to use StumbleUpon to its fullest.

Favorite Sphinn Posts of 2007

Sphinn - The Social News Site Every Search Marketer Should Be Using - Rand writes in detail 10 reasons why Every Search Marketer should be using Sphinn.

Please Don’t Ask Me to Sphinn Your Stories (and How to Use Sphinn and Similar Social News Websites) - Tamar writes this excellent post about Social Networking Etiquotte.

Why Sphinn Needs a Dumbass Button - Digg has a "bury it" button…. Greg Boser suggests a "Dumbass Button" for Sphinn.

Fool Proof Sphinn-Bait Tactics to Reach the Front Page - Kelvin Newman writes in detail how to reach the front page of Sphinn.

A 5 Pack Of Sphinn Interviews - Todd Mintz Interviews 5 members of the Sphinn Community.

How to Dominate Sphinn in 4 Easy Steps - David Harry comes up with the Sphinn Domination Plan.

The First (un)Official Sphinn Awards - Day 1 - Jeff Quipp at Search Engine People offers days 1 of the (un)Official Sphinn Awards…. freakin hilarious.

The (un)Official Sphinn Awards Part 2 - David Harry Holds Part II of the Sphinn Awards at his site and it is equally as funny as Day 1.

A Very Beginner’s Guide to the Sphinn Network : Tips and Tricks - Mack offers up some tips to New User’s of Sphinn.

Sphinn: In Depth Traffic Analysis And Advice - Matt Jones did his research and offers his traffic analysis and some Sphinning tips.

20 Top Sphinners You Should Know - Here is a list of 20 Sphinners and their sites that you might not know, but should.

Sphinn Google Gadget - As if I didn’t adore Pat of SEOish enough he comes up with this amazing Sphinn Google Gadget.

Favorite Twitter Posts of 2007

The Big Juicy Twitter Guide - Caroline Middlebrook puts together a very detailed guide to Using Twitter for Marketing.

Guide to Twitter as a Tool for Marketing and PR - Lee Odden puts together a great post with tips on using Twitter as a Marketing Tool. Lee’s community offers tons of wonderful Twitter Tips!!

The Several Habits of Wildly Successful Twitter Users - Bren at Slacker Manager offers tips and advice for Successful Twitter Wanna-be’s.

Eight Ways Twitter is Useful Professionally - Anne Zelenka offers 8 ways to use Twitter Professionally.

Use Twitter To Boost Your Marketing Strategy, No Really - Chris Bennett offers his ideas to user Twitter as part of a Marketing Strategy.

The Top 5 Ways Smart People Use Twitter - Sharon Sarmiento suggests focusing on these 5 smart uses of Twitter to keep from falling into the Twitter abyss.

Is Twitter TOO good? - Kathy Sierra writes this post showing her struggle with Twitter…. In this post you can see her struggle with Twitter being a waste of time and the rest of the world chanting Twitter’s wonderful goodness.

Twitter vs. Pownce: Who Pwns? - Tamar takes a close look at Twitter and Pownce and compares the two.

Twitter is Paying My Rent - Marshall Kirkpatrick writes how he uses Twitter to come up with stories to blog about. At the time of this post 6 out of his 7 last posts wint to the front page of Digg… the same stories he came up with thanks to Twitter.

Twitter CAN be Useful! Who Knew? - Due to Twitter coverage of the fires back in October Jennifer Laycock saw an incredibly useful way to use Twitter….. Her brother and his wife were able to subscribe to the Twitter Feed and quick and easy access to instant updates as they drove across the country safely.

Favorite Facebook Posts of 2007

The Facebook Marketing Bible: 24 Ways to Market Your Brand, Company, Product, or Service Inside Facebook - If you are looking on exactly how to Market on Facebook this is a "Must Read" by Justin Smith.

12 Ways to Use Facebook Professionally - Judi Sohn explains why Facebook can be a great addition to your web working toolbox.

How to use Facebook to Promote your Blog - Brian Wallace compliles some tips on how to promote your blog using Facebook.

Not many people know this, but I invented Facebook - Lyndon says, Let us all rise up and shout, “I INVENTED FACEBOOK.”

Your Private Facebook Info Isn’t So Private - Lisa Barone shows why adjusting your Facebook privacy settings may not be enough to keep people from seeing inside your Facebook Windows.

Seven Steps to Graphing Your Facebook Strategy - Dave McClure offers an indepth look at Facebook. This is a great post for anyone new to Facebook.

A Successful Facebook Marketing Campaign - Social-Media-Optimization.com compares a successful Facebook campaign (Target) with an unsuccessful campaign (Walmart).

How to Develop a Hit Facebook App: 29 Essential Tools and Tutorials - SoftwareDeveloper.com comes up with Resources to help you build a successful Facebook app that users will love.

You too might be a Facebookaholic, if: - Dave McClure gives us 17 hints that we might be a Facebookaholic.

Who needs Google? Facebook’s stealth ad system - ValleyWag gives us the details on Facebook’s Ad System.

Mash Pets, SuperPokes, Vampires, or Zombies? What are Your Social Network Ice Breakers? - Mark Laymon shows us how he uses certain Facebook applications to "Break the Ice".

A Girl’s First Time….. being Poked - Ok, this post is one of mine. Sorry, I just crack myself up.

Is The Horde At Facebooks Walls? - Tim Nash writes this post for Clicks.ws. on the how-to’s of Advertising on Facebook.

Web Strategy: What the Web Strategist should know about Facebook - Jeremiah Owyang tells us what we need to know about Facebook as a strategic marketing channel.

Technorati Tags:social networking, social bookmarking, stumbleupon, sphinn, twitter, facebook, 2007, social media, social media marketing

Posted in Facebook, Humor, Link Love, Social Bookmarking, Social Media, Social Media Marketing, Social Networking, Sphinn, StumbleUpon, Twitter | 18 Comments »

My Love / Hate Relationship with Social Media

I love you so much I hate you!! Or, I hate you so much I love you!! Oh boy, is my head Sphinning!! I keep Stumbling over things and getting Mixxed up because my head is totally in the Social Media clouds. Let me explain my battle a bit…

I love you, Social Media…. Let me Count the Ways:

1. People – I have met so many people from all over World. Many of these people I would consider a dear friend and/or Colleague.
2. Traffic - With the correct Social Media Marketing Strategies you can bring a lot of amazing traffic to your site.
3. This is Work?? - I can call Social Media part of my job, but yet it is so much fun.
4. Voyeurism - I can be a Voyeur and it’s okay…. Watching where my friends have been and what they did while they were there. (StumbleUpon, MyBlogLog, etc…)
5. Conversations - Conversations via blog comments, Instant Messaging, blog posts, facebook, twitter, blah, blah, blah.
6. De-Stresser - Take my mind off of my Stressful Work / Life.
7. Not all about Google - No longer have to rely on Major Search Engines for all of my traffic.
8. Keep Updated - Easy to keep up with new and updated information on the topics that interest me. RSS Feeds
9. Link Building - Building Links is fairly easy with Social Media and a lot of fun. No more emailing for link exchanges.
10. Creativity - I feel More Creative now than I ever was.
11. Sweet Dreams - I love Social Media so much I even dream about it at night while I’m sleeping.
12. Opportunities - Joined in on projects with fellow colleagues I have met online
13. Standing Out - Social Media Activities can make you Stand Out - A successful Article or Blog Post can do very well on Social Networking Sites which can make you stand-out in your Niche.
14. Social Media Fame - Having a Blog with a Readership can make you feel like a Superstar.

I hate you, Social Media… Let me Count the Ways:

1. Pressure of keeping up the Pace - Feeling if I slow down I will get lost and no one will be able to find me.
2. Inevitable that someone will be unhappy - This is very difficult for a people pleaser such as myself. Unable to make everyone happy. If you make someone unhappy you might hear about it in a follow-up post or a blog comment.
3. Voyeurism - Just like I can watch other people travel through the Blogosphere, people can watch me too. Knowing this makes me feel a bit weary about popping on to someone’s blog or StumbleUpon Profile too many times in a row. Not sure why, but it does.
4. This is Work!! - Social Media is very time consuming. And, even though it is a lot of fun it is so much work!!
5. People - Most people that I have met online have been wonderful!! But, not everyone is as nice. Some people pretend to be your friend because ultimately they want something from you. Don’t use me!! I hate that!!
6. RSS Feed Reader is Too Full - As I mentioned in #8 above I use a RSS Feed Reader to keep updated. However, my Feed Reader has become so full that lately I have been missing important posts. Because my Reader is so full I tend to read the Titles of the Posts to see what sounds interesting enough to read and landed up missing some really wonderful posts.
7. Poor Time Management - What little Time Management Skills I have had in the past have totally went down the toilet since I added Social Media Activity to my To-do list. UGH!! I think I’ve already complained about this in the past, huh?!
8. Productivity - Productivity on some of my other duties has begun to slip.
9. Sleepless Nights - Don’t get enough Sleep. Even my dreams are overcome by Social Media Activities.
10. Social Media Pressure - The pressure to achieve a certain Social Media Status or keep this status is incredibly intense. Sometimes it is hard to enjoy the fame due to the constant fear of losing it.

I will be following this post up with other posts detailing the specifics on each of these Love/Hate dilemmas.

Technorati Tags:social media, social networking, social bookmarking, sphinn, stumbleupon, social media marketing, blogging

Posted in Blogging, Facebook, Humor, Mixx, Social Bookmarking, Social Media, Social Media Marketing, Social Networking, Time Management, Twitter, Web 2.0 | 20 Comments »

12 Cool Analogies to Help Explain Social Media

Yesterday I wrote a Post on Collective-Thoughts, Wow, Social Media is a lot like High School!! . It is a humorous look at how Social Media has many similarities to High School. Both Social Media and High Schools have Popular Crowds, Clubs, The Bad Boys, Rule Breakers, Goodie-Goodies, Parties, Peer Pressure, and Gossip. I hope the readers enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I’ve learned that using analogies is a great way to explain things that are normally difficult to explain. There are many people on the net that find Social Media and Web 2.0 very confusing. Analogies help explain something confusing to an individual by comparing it with something they already understand. So, here I have listed 12 articles that use cool analogies to explain different aspects of Social Media.

Join the Conversation or Break Into the Conversation? - Sean at Grin & Grumble compares Social Media being a Pool and Bloggers being the different types of swimmers in the Pool of Social Media.

The “symphony” of social media - Dee Rambeau at CausePlanet.org writes a creative analogy comparing a symphony orchestra with social media.

Why Corporations Should Blog (Hint, it’s not SEO) - Josh Hallett at Hyku uses your love for your significant other to prove a point.

Marc Canter’s vision of the open social network - Chris at Particls Blog comparing Facebook and other Social Networks are like Shopping Centers.

Fly-Fishing Where the Fish Are - Ann Handley at Marketing Profs Daily Fix writes about fishing using flies was not unlike marketing using the tools of social media.

Social Media, the Pond Analogy and the Old Media Disconnect - sean at Scrollin’ On Dubs compares Marketing with the spreading of ripples in a glassy pond.

The Ethics Of Social Bookmarking - xrayspecs at The Internet Marketing Neophyte compares a new site to a piece of driftwood.

Social Media Marketing is Similar to a Fishing Tournament - Mark Laymon at Collective-Thoughts

Bookmarking Solutions: Quick Access vs. Long Term Storage - Jay White at Dumb Little Man compares Social Bookmarking to paper filing systems.

Advertising Tips (with Sex examples) - talisman.org explains what marketing is using Pick-up Lines and the such.

Online social networking, an extension to human evolution? Arun Radhakrishnan at TechRepublic talks about the relation between social networking and human evolution.

The Virtual world and the Real World - An Analogy - Karthik Vijayakumar at Water Droplets compares The virtual world to the real world.

Technorati Tags:social media, social bookmarking, social networking, analogies, social media marketing

Posted in Blogging, Facebook, Humor, Social Bookmarking, Social Media, Social Media Marketing, Social Networking, Web 2.0, Websites | 8 Comments »